Too embarrassed to blog!

Well ok, my assignment still isn't done. nut boy I have been very competent in the kitchen.  I know, it's displacement activity, the panic has not set in yet, and baking is fun and makes me feel like a competent mum - so there!

Friday, chocolate crinkle cookies, one of the kids favourites.

Saturday it was madelines but I don't have a picture of them. Today, my first attempt at chocolate macaroons.  I have a lovely pictue of them but the pc is being funky.  Not sure they would pass muster on the Great British Bake Off but the kids loved them with peanut butter, nutella and at one point both.

I need to focus on this thought

and might stay up all night to get something achieved. There is lots of knitting going on too - but I'm not sharing that until my assignment is done.  In fact NO MORE KNITTING UNTIL THE ASSIGNMENT IS DONE - well maybe a little bit jut to keep me calm, but no more than 10 minutes.

Honest!

Start as you mean to go on!

Yesterday was.....a little unproductive ahhum, to put it mildly.  Post migraine hangover and academic work are not good partners.  But not today.  Today I will be very productive.  I was showered and dressed before I put the kids on the school bus and my list is already made:

• this weeks menu and shopping list (including all the ingredients for the Christmas cake)
• weekly shop
• meet a friend for a quick chat
• assignment
• assignment
• assignment
• my day 4 getsomeheadspace.com meditation
• assignment
• knitting only on mum's cardigan (the never ending project of light fingering cables)
• kiss the kids and chat when they come in
• assignment
• wrap birthday present for bestie

I am trying to convince myself that yesterday I was marinating my assignment and tryong to fully recover - worst migraine in a long time.  Still couldn't really eat either so good, small heathly meals today.

Ok - a picture of mums cardigan, the back to the armholes is done and I have started the left front

Not loving my knitting at the moment, then I realised that I have a grey sock, a dark blue nuvem and mum's cardigan.  I think I may need to cast on something colourful........after my assignment!

One person's pleasure is another persons pain

Singapore is a buzz this week with the F1. It's great for Singapore as a whole, but as someone who lives here, and close to the track, it's a pain in the patoupie.  Forget going into town if you need anything, the roads are closed. Even worse, those who work in the Central Business District (CBD) can't get road transport to work.  This has forced by DH to use the MRT (underground).  The first day he got off at the wrong stop on the way home and after walking for 30 minutes called me to come pick him up - he was sweaty (it is Singapore), grumpy and he'd broken the strap on his briefcase.  Two days later and he knows the way but the grumps continue.

The first year the F1 was here everybody got tickets but as the years have gone by the enthusiasm has waned, now the people I know only go when they have to - when they have to go and do their corporate duty and smuuze - it's a hard life!

I work in the opposite direction to the F1 so it really hasn't interrupted me so much, but work, assignments and an impending exam have got the better of me and on Friday at 3pm the worst I've had for a long time descended.  I still had course participants for another 2 hours, I think adrenaline kept me going, but when I called mum on the way home she had to keep me busy so I didn't vomit.  As soon as I walked through the door I could hold it no longer and gave in.  I've slept through I good chunk of the weekend and still feel grotty, like a hangover but without the fun the night before.  Knitting, no not much.

This week is going to be a productive one though.  My migraine will have left, no work for the next 4 weeks whilst I finish my assignments, sit my exam and then as a reward....... I get to go to London for 10 days.  So first the pain and then the pleasure.

Right now, off to bed. x

Messy can be good!

I am an organised person.  I write a menu for the week and my shopping list from that.  I know what activities the kids have on a daily basis and which days homework needs doing.  I don't like mess, I just don't.

So when the kids want to bake on their own I agree, reluctantly and I try to smile through the mess and the inadequate washing up.  But today, today I decided instead of staying away from the kitchen I'd join in, if they'd let me (both fiercely independent).  Thankfully they said yes.  SO I am celebrating the mess and the end result.

 The biscuits aren't perfect, but they melt in the mouth and I have a cherished moment with the monsters.

Time wasting

It's been a funny week so far.  I haven't been at work this week and I had put aside the whole week to work on my assessed assignment.  It hasn't worked out the way I thought.  I find I have to have a few days fannying about, messing around, and procrastinating before I can sit down and even do the reading.  So baking, knitting, spinning, becoming obsessed with the book I'm reading (NO - not my textbook). It feels like I need the adrenaline rush of a tight deadline. This is NOT always positive, last week I had an assignment due (as I did the week before too) and was convinced it had to be in on Friday.  So I kind of worked and procrastinated until Thursday when I suddenly was mega motivated - I worked and worked til late in the night and posted it first thing Friday morning.  Imagine the scenario, I waited for the electronic confirmation that it had sent when I got the message saying:

"your assignment has been submitted after the deadline, your tutor does not have to mark it"

To say I was upset was an understatement (think hissy fit, tears and 'woe is me' wailing).  It was my fault, it should have been in the day before but I had so much going on. I emailed my tutor (Joe has agreed to mark it - he's a realist, he understands that real life, kids, work and study is full on and sometimes life gets in the way) and waited.  Then I decided this was useless - would I still be able to pass even if this essay was a 0?  The answer was YES.  So I calmed down, disappointed but pragmatic.  My tutor is going to mark it, but it was a life lesson, try to reframe and look at reality.  So yes, I am suddenly up for this assignment.  I have set my own cut off date (it's not due until 7th October but I also have an exam on the 9th October).  Next Tuesday.  It has to be done by then.  I have no doubt I will spend the weekend and, Monday and Tuesday in a blind panic!

The 3 good things:

• I have set my own deadline and am attempting to get ahead
• I have exercised every day for the last 10 days
• I am going to LONDON on th 10th October - wheeeeeeee

Where I need to do better:

• I ate chocolate yesterday and one of the cupcakes I made the kids.  Still, it was only one and they did look like this

Been a while

It has certainly been a while since I posted here and yet there is so much to say.  I'm starting small. 10 minutes everyday, some crafting, then 3 things I'm pleased about and where I feel competent, 1 thing to think about or I wish was different.

I knitted on mums cardigan. I may have wanted to knit her something DK or thicker but she wanted light fingering, long and cabled.  I am working on it every day and actually I like it a lot.  Let's hope it will fit. And I finished my stripey socks - love, love, love stripey socks.  You have to feel happy aout stripey socks.

Three Good things

1. I shared with a friend today.  It was hard and I cried but it helped. It's positive to let it out rather than holding it in and being very self controlled. I find this hard to do.

2. I really enjoyed my spiced hot chocolate.  It was an indulgence, rich, deep and probably (definitely) fattening but it was worth it.

3. I made an effort with what I wore today, not in a fancy pants way, but in a "yes, I too can look co-ordinated and together even if it's jeans, expensove shoes and a fun handbag. Win!

Something I would change

1. I wish the friend I cried on wasn't leaving at Christmas.  Someone I can really talk to and she can talk to me.  Very sad.

That's it - 10 minutes